Missed Connections

Was it you—
You, who I’ve ached to see once more
For months or years or lifetimes before?
If only in passing, even a peek:
I’d see you, you’d see me. No need to speak.

Was it you—
I want to see you everywhere
And so project, deceive, and swear.

Was it you—
Beside me Friday afternoon
At the self-checkout stations
At my local supermarket
At about a quarter of three?
I had more in my cart but
I scanned faster, flustered.
We processed our payments at the same time.
You in sweatpants and a charcoal tee.
Me in jeans and a stained Henley.
I left first, and tried not to look back.

Was it you—
For whom I’d give my life to save
From danger, attack, illness, despair;
Afflictions sundry—I’d take the grave.
Or simply if you asked me to.

Was it you—
My North Star, my beacon, my purpose
What found me, what freed me, what bound me
What tempered my sorrow
Made mornings possible
As carrying on seemed improbable

Was it you—
Don’t know. Didn’t ask.
Wasn’t sure. Froze.
Said your name? Could’ve.
But if not? A stranger?
The embarrassment!

Was it you—
I mean, why would it be? On this side of town, at this store, so far from home? Nah. It wasn’t. Unless you moved. Or were visiting friends. Or passing through, maybe running errands or getting off work or who knows stranger things have happened and just by chance this one was closer than that one and it was more convenient because the traffic northbound was backed up like always on Fridays and there was probably a wreck on the west side so…no, can’t have been. Can’t. Cannot. Can not. Uh-uh.

Was it you—
I loaded my groceries into the trunk,
Returned the cart to the corral,
Tried to steal another glance,
But still couldn’t tell.
Why’d I park here?
Why not over there?
She’s too far away now.
She’d driving away now.

Was it you—
under that mask?