By Troy Lyle
Evansville, Indiana
Normally there’s a rhythm, a cadence, a flow to a roller derby bout. So much so that one can sense how a bout will likely end just by feeling the early vibrations. Such was the case for the Rollergirls of Central Kentucky’s (ROCK) latest effort on May 8. One could tell the outcome wouldn’t be pretty from the subtle changes in atmosphere … from that gut feeling that loomed in the air during the bout’s inception.
Ever so subtle these barometric fluctuations were, but omnipresent none the less.
Team warm-ups started like they always do with each respective team skating the track to get their bearings, turn their wheels and heat the blood. Most of the girls use this time to settle their nerves and focus on the task ahead, which is more or less how the pregame transpired this Saturday.
But then something altogether peculiar happened. During ROCK’s post skate and cool down, the Rollergirls of Southern Indiana (ROSI) came over to stretch out and chat it up. A laugh here. A how have things been there. It’s almost as if ROSI was wooing ROCK into a false sense of security. Like playing nice now was to mask playing rough later.
Those vacillations… they begin to gain in intensity.
Throughout team introductions the air progressively thickened in the Swonder Ice Center on the outskirts of Evansville, Indiana. Fueled by an inept announcer and hands down the worst introduction to roller derby ever, the crowd seemed disoriented and antsy, as if they didn’t know whether to cheer or keep quite.
The vibe was strengthening. Something wicked this way was coming.
Round 1
Hurtz Donut scored first for ROSI in a rough and tumble opening jam as both teams tried to bruise and bang the other into oblivion. When the smoke cleared ROSI had sent their message loud and clear: “This is our turf.”
The next few jams followed suit as bodies banged, wheels screeched and sweat pored. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see that this was a war that wouldn’t end pretty.
Ryder Die and Ellie Slay managed to push ROCK ahead by one early on. ROCK was working its patented tightly packed wall made up of Sissy Bug, Ragdoll Ruby and Sharon Moonshine to perfection.
ROCK 13, ROSI 12
What in reality were two minute jams seemed like an eternity, as the two teams’ game plans—beat’em up and box’em out—mirrored each other.
After a short deliberation by the zebras over a penalty, Sugar Shock roared off the line using her catlike reflexes to weave her way through ROSI‘s line. It wasn’t easy, but eventually Sugar broke through and gained lead jammer. When the whistle blew ROCK had scored another 3 points and things were looking up.
ROCK 16, ROSI 12
Donut went to work again for ROSI. In a slick move she faked to the inside and speed skated around ROCK’s wall, netting the days first grand slam and posting 5 points.
Die countered and posted 4 points of her own as Slay, Rainbow Smite and Kitty O’Doom reeked havoc on ROSI’s Killyn Time. Though not gaining ground, ROCK was holding its own.
Then the zebras went to shit. For some reason they felt compelled to ruin a perfectly good derby bout with a string of senseless calls.
ROCK 20, ROSI 17
Ragman, ROCK’s coach, had all he could stand by this point. After calling a timeout the Rock coach approached the zebs wanting to know why ROCK seemed to be mounting penalty time at twice the pace of ROSI. And more importantly, he wanted to know why certain penalties weren’t being enforced and others were.
ROCK’s jammers, he noted, continued to be pounded by ROSI’s wall even though they had skated more than 20 feet in front of the pack. Such pounding is a No-No according to the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA), the governing force behind roller derby. According to WFTDA rule 4.3.2, “When a Blocker is positioned more than twenty (20) feet outside the pack or out of bounds, she is out of play and subject to penalties.”
After receiving no satisfactory answer from the vile zebs, Ragman returned to the bench with an obvious look of disgust. The damage was done and there was nothing he could do about it. The zebs weren’t going to make that call, a fact ROSI used to their full advantage to retake the lead.
ROCK 20, ROSI 21
If the bout wasn’t physical enough already, the lack of control by the zebs only served to infuriate ROCK’s skaters, upping the brutal nature of their attack.
Bodies began flying off the track and into the suicide seats outlining the rink’s exterior. Shouts grew, sweat poured and deep moans filled the air, silencing the more than 300 patrons in attendance. The scene only amplified as elbows flailed and panties began flying off helmets. It wasn’t a pretty setting, more like a boxing match than a bout.
ROCK 37, ROSI 32
On the wheels of The Virgin Cherry, Donut, Killyn Time, O. Snap and Suffragette Kitty, ROSI scored and scored and scored behind their all but impassable wall made up of Andre’a The Giant, Grave Digga, Sammich and Ingrid Inhumane.
But ROCK wasn’t done. They fought and clawed between every whistle, inflicting pain and battling to stay close. One could tell there was too much pride at stake to let the zebs get the best of this seasoned derby squad.
ROCK 39, ROSI 60
Round 2
In most sports a 21 point lead is all but insurmountable. Not so in roller derby. Jammers routinely rip off 15 and 20 plus point jams, especially when the opposing team’s jammer is sent for some butt time in the penalty box. That slight chance was all the motivation Slay needed for her halftime speech. After slapping the girls around a bit, Slay and company reentered the Swonder Ice Center with a new sense of purpose — get even, or die trying. After a halftime percussive assault by The Boom Squad, a local dance, drum and flag ensemble, both teams exited their respective lockers and made their way to center court. One could tell by the look on ROCK’s faces they weren’t at all pleased with the way the first half transpired. ROSI, with smiles and laughter, looked to be right where they wanted to be—in control.
After a quick warm up skate the action resumed.
Unfortunately the plan went awry after an early phantom penalty call on Sugar for back blocking. To make matters worse the two points Slay scored prior to being penalized failed to be awarded by the zebs. Yet another slap in the face for ROCK.
By this time ROCK had had enough. The bout was out of reach, but not the battle. With looks that kill ROCK went about damaging every ROSI skater that dared enter their domain. No jammer or blocker was safe from the anguish, punishment and agony ROCK unleashed, none more punishing than a blow administered by Sissy Bug midway through the second half. Bug managed to blast the panty off of Cherry’s helmet and send her flailing into the air and flat on her back. It was asily the hardest hit registered that afternoon.
ROCK 51, ROSI 79
Bruising ROSI wasn’t the only objective for ROCK in the later part of the second. Newcomers Mericle Whip and Pamm Demic got some much needed track time. Whip skated in a couple of jams, showing serious promise for ROCK’s future as she glided around the track. Pamm Demic got her derby feet wet as she landed a solid hit on ROSI’s Donut, sending her off the track and out of Bitty Bast’rd’s way. Bast’rd seized the opportunity and took lead jammer to score 6 points.
ROCK 62, ROSI 92
The zebs were up to their nonsense once again in the next to last jam of the day. Clearly after the jam started and the blockers left the line, Major Beef decided to whistle the action dead and allow a timeout for ROSI.
‘What the hell?’
That and many other expletives came flying from the ROCK bench.
“You can’t call a timeout between jams,” Drawer yelled. “You refs are really screwing the pooch today.”
Smite echoed the sentiment.
“It’s not ROSI’s fault,” she said. “It’s a ref problem.”
Smite was right, at least judging by the discrepancy in penalties. ROCK finished with 31 minors and 6 majors; ROSI, by comparison, finished with 16 minors and 3 majors.
Maybe the rant of a random ROCK fan summed it up best when he yelled, “You guys [zebs] suck. This is the most blatant case of home cooking I’ve ever seen.”
When all was said and done ROSI finished with 98 points to ROCK’s 71.
Up Next
Rock hopes to shake off this bitter defeat and take its 2 and 2 record into a much needed break before heading to Toledo, Ohio on June 5. There they will be part of the Midwest Derby Girl Summit—a four team mini-tournament sponsored by the Glass City Rollers. Other teams scheduled to participate include Team Unicorn of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls and the Mid-Michigan Derby Girls.
For more information about the Midwest Derby Girl Summit go to www.glasscityrollers.com. If you’d like to learn more about ROCK, its skaters or its upcoming events go to www.rocknrollergirls.com.
Derby Terminology
Zebra (Zeb) – nickname for a referee
Suicide Seats – seating on the floor just off the derby track’s edge. This seating is “at your own risk” due to its proximity to the action and the likelihood of a skate in the face, side or stomach.
Panty – a stretchy helmet cover that is used to designate the jammer (with a star) or a pivot (with a stripe).
Box Score
Rollergirls of Central Kentucky (ROCK) – 71
Rollergirls of Southern Indiana (ROSI) – 98
Saturday, May 8, at the Swonder Ice Center in Evansville, Indiana
ROCK best jammer: Ryder Die
ROSI best jammer: Hurtz Donut
ROCK best blocker: Kitty O’Doom
ROSI best blocker: Sammich
ROCK MVP: Sissy Bug
ROSI MVP: Hurtz Donut
Tom
Diane, yes both Andrew and myself were present @ the bout. Get over ourself. Those girls in pink and black were dirty as fuck.
Tom
No thanks, not interested in your paper.
dmayer
Tom and others,
Feel free to keep posting on this article (and presumably, since you claim Rollerderby fandom, on our other Rollerderby articles archived on here over the past year), but you won’t be getting any more responses from Keith, Troy or any member of NoC (including myself). We’re primarily a print paper and as such will include a written response on the sports page when our next issue comes out on June 9. Feel free to link to it and read it. Or not.
Thanks,
Danny Mayer
Editor, North of Center
Tom
Furthermore….and no disrespect to you Wil E….But Keith is taking this shit WAY to serious…It was a biased article…That reflected on a verdant ref crew that was blown way out of proportion…..Lets get over this bullshit.
Tom
Hey Keith…I think you are the author…hahaha You’re such an angry douche that has nothing to offer society expect your insignificant little bitch rants….Damn did somebody forget their little nap? hahahahaha
booo
Wil Breaker
I am done, I think plenty has been done on your end to discredit your viewpoint on this sport. This will be my final post.
My intention was not to start a flame war. I could have easily masked my name and posted without fear of any repercussions. But why not use my credentials and representation on and off the track to expose poor journalism?
Did I commit a “cardinal sin” as you call it. To some refs maybe. But to quote someone else in derby that I will keep anonymous, “Derby as a sport is still in it’s infancy…” “Even these amateur articles can cause damage to it’s appearance”.
I’m sure my role in this has not been tarnished greatly by this article, hopefully it has strengthened the affirmation that my passion for the sport is unbiased. If I ever reach a point where my passion is ever perceived as a problem by my peers, I can guarantee there will be some sort of role I could easily take part and accepted in.
But enjoy the incoming hits you have on your site over the next few days, or even weeks on this article. The grand thing about bad journalism is that it often spreads fast. I think you guys may get some good exposure here. But at what cost?
Thanks, it was fun while it lasted.
Tom
Hey Keith, thanks for taking the tampon out of your ass long enough to give us some insight.
Keith Halladay
It’s okay to be mad. If my schools failed me, I’d be mad too.
Wil Breaker
Sir, I think your school did fail you! 😛
Now can we get back to the discussion with some intellect and insight.
Still waiting on the author to respond.
Keith Halladay
The author has already responded, above. He does not need to waste his time responding further, and as such I now have his permission to speak for him.
Now, your failure here began with your wild accusations of “slander,” which, besides being the wrong term entirely (“slander” refers to spoken defamation, while “libel” deals with written communications), is utterly unfounded. Your feelings were hurt: we get it. If you’d like to consult a lawyer about your hurt feelings, go for it. Otherwise, simply stop reading this paper. Simple enough, no?
Furthermore, your very presence in this comment thread makes one wonder about your suitability as a referee. In every sport I know of, which is quite a few, referees and umpires are actively discouraged by their employers from publicly responding to media criticism. They should, in short, maintain a thick skin. You’re doing quite the opposite here.
Likewise, one must wonder if this sort of attention seeking isn’t a symptom of a larger problem–the cardinal sin of refereeing, in fact: thinking the sporting event is all about you. We’ve already had one or two of the participants in the bout remark that the article’s account was factual, including your role in it. Yet you continue here, asking for…for what? An apology?
You won’t get it. A referee knows he or she has done the job well when nobody talks about it after the game. Had you done your job properly, there would be no discussion. And there certainly will be no apology.
Finally, you’re asking for “intellect and insight,” yet your own role here has been only to beg for sympathy for the “challenges” that confront you and to, again, make unfounded accusations of defamation. And we are to respond how?
So I think we’re done here.
Morgan
Look, I’ve been a referee for 3 years, reffed at all levels of Derby, and am nationally certified. The shortage of qualified refs is definitely a widespread problem in the hinterlands (like ROCK and ROSI). It’s a very, very hard job and there is zero positive recognition. I will not deny that I have seen some mistakes made by rookie refs (not “zebs” — whoever told you that is what refs are called is wrong).
But two points:
1) Blaming the refs always — always — makes your team look smaller.
2) For everyone who has complained: what have you done in the past year to recruit smart and athletic refs? nothing? than shut up. Until we solve the ref recruitment puzzle we will continue to see refs learning on the job.
Articles like this make ref recruitment that much harder, thanks. The author really needs to sit down and talk to some experienced refs before he finds that he’s driven away the people who make it possible for his favorite team to even hold a simple scrimmage.
Wil Breaker
In a professional manner I see nothing wrong in noting ref performance. IE: “Both teams struggled with the inexperience of the ref crew” or “During the course of the night the referees made some calls questionable to the fans”. To say that “Then the zebras went to shit.” is a direct attack from the author to the ref crew. And although I was not mentioned directly, my name is in that line up that is mentioned.
Kieth I looked at the articles you listed (minus the blogs) and they all have something in common. Pointing out a bad call that affected the game’s outcome. Each one of these the author specifically pointed out a call and interviewed players/officials on what happened, thus giving a detailed account of the situation. Your author only uses one instance where a justifiable bad call was made. In the event of the time out he gives enough information to the reader to paint them a picture of what happened. Although I will criticize only quoting the coach without an interview. Did he receive permission to use all the quotes noted? The rest of his supporting ideas I only see as “fluff”.
I am not saying your paper is bad journalism, and the same for this particular journalist. Just the article.
Also telling me to “grow up” was an odd note to end your debate. Please explain.
Keith Halladay
Because you have not yet been man enough to take responsibility for your calls, instead blaming the drive, the fact that you don’t get paid, that some people called you names…it reads as an adolescent whine. Hence: stop being a whiny adolescent and grow up.
And he doesn’t need “permission” to use any quotes at all. This was a public sporting event.
Wil Breaker
And before I am slammed on it…
Correction: “Neither of which have no place in sports commentary.”
Supposed to be:
“Neither of which have place in sports commentary.”
Wil Breaker
I was one of the refs mentioned and although I normally would not comment on an opinion of the performance of the crews I work with (unless from peers). I do feel obligated to extend some facts to your audience.
To start off, this bout was the one that “almost” did not happen due to lack of officials. A large scale tournament (Spring Roll) was happening concurrently to this match-up. This lead to a lack of interest for officials to work the ROSI vs. ROCK event. Many “zebs” were attending this tourney in hopes to work sanctioned bouts or to sit down for once as fans and enjoy the games from the sidelines. This led to a panic to assemble what “zebs” that had no obligations just not to cancel. On top of this was another situation involving the former Head Ref (AKA: Head Zeb) that makes for a good story in its self (if you like to chase gossip). The short of the long is that the assembled crew is as follows: Two experienced outside pack refs used as jam refs, three refs that have less then three bouts under their belts, and an ex Head Ref that was pulled out of retirement.
Although I cannot comment on the calls that were in question I will state that I believed it was not out of bias, as you imply in your journalism. To imply that a ref crew was responsible for a team’s win or loss is highly opinionated and could be considered slander. Neither of which have no place in sports commentary.
On a further note, the “opinion” you placed on the ROSI skater that, “Like (her) playing nice now was to mask playing rough later.” Could be denote that ROSI, or at least this skater, does not want the opposing team for anything other then a punching-bag. The tone of this statement would imply that there is no place for friendships in derby, dangerous grounds there.
Many refs (zebs) are only into it for the love of the sport. We do not receive grand amounts of gratitude for what we do, we are often pleasantly surprised when we see any at all. I am used to the name calling and rude gestures from the crowd. Where you saw a great opportunity on this reaction to increase the shock value of your article, I only see it as another day of work.
We zebs face many challenges in this sport as well. Financial burdens, injuries, time restraints, and bad journalism can keep us at our “wit’s end”.
Sometimes the separation of life and derby does not exist. It can even at some points blend together. Now if I can be excused it is 9 AM and I just got home from my job. I need a few hours of sleep before diving 5 hours to another bout that “almost” didn’t happen.
Wil Breaker
PS: I appreciate any exposure to derby that can be given and you did show passion in this article. All I ask is that only the facts be presented in your commentary. I will offer my assistance if you need help on this. Opinions belong in the “Opinions” section of the paper.
Keith Halladay
So let me get this straight: you claim that “To imply that a ref crew was responsible for a team’s win or loss is highly opinionated and could be considered slander. Neither of which have a place in sports commentary.” Oh, really?
http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/news?slug=ap-championsleaguefinal-referee
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Replacement-refs-botch-call-in-Pistons-Bucks-gam?urn=nba,194808
http://www.nesn.com/2009/10/ump-phil-cuzzi-sets-up-yankees-game-2-win-with-botched-call.html
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/After-Phil-Cuzzi-s-blown-call-MLB-needs-to-put-?urn=mlb,195187
http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/26708420/
http://www.star-telegram.com/2010/05/20/2206088/josh-hamilton-shrugs-off-blown.html
You seem to want the media to cover Roller Derby, but you only want it on your terms, is that it? Well, tough. You blew calls, it gets reported. Don’t want it reported? Don’t blow calls.
And save the sob story–our reporter wasn’t the one calling you names, so why are you whining about it here? Furthermore, nobody at this paper gets paid either, and the article’s author had to travel just as far as you and everybody else did. “Many challenges in this sport…” Grow up.
Mara Smith
I was there, and the refs really did do an awful job. The problem was that they tried to call a timeout in the middle of a jam. In addition to that, they missed a number of crucial penalties, failed to maintain the pack, and more than once, didn’t award ROCK the points they earned.
Refs are people too, and make mistakes. No one is saying they should be strung up over it, but this is a pretty accurate picture of how the bout went.
Tom
It is the refs job to protect the skaters and call out the skaters that are performing the penalties. “Not about how many penalties the refs can squeeze into every jam.”
The refs don’t “make up” the penalties. Maybe if the other team wasn’t so desperate they wouldn’t be in the box.
I have to agree with Andrew about your article, sir: it is the most
“crass, libel article ” I have ever read.
I have never read such a pice of shit article reflected on Roller Derby, and no I do not follow your other articles….So do not even mention it.
Keith Halladay
It should be noted that the level of illiteracy reflected in the phrase “crass, libel article” pretty well destroys whatever credibility you, and the original commenter have. The correct part of speech when modifying a noun such as “article” is the adjective; the adjective you wanted was “libelous.” There are GED programs to help with this.
Diane
Tom and Andrew, were either of you at the ROCK vs ROSI bout?? No, you weren’t, so you really have no idea what you are talking about. THAT is called “Talking out your ass”, which both of you seem to be doing.
This article is a very good representation of the ROCK vs ROSI bout on May 8. Next time, guys, go see it for yourself and actually support local Roller Derby, instead of talking out of your asses.
Andrew
You obviously don’t know much about Roller Derby. After reading your article and seeing all the holes even an unseasoned fan would get that gist. “You can’t call a timeout between jams,” Drawer yelled. “You refs are really screwing the pooch today.” Now this quote confused me so i went back to the WFTDA site where they display the Flat Track rules of Roller Derby and 2.6.3. Teams may take timeouts between jams only. Shouldn’t you be talking up this sport and showing class for both teams as apposed to writing such a crass, libel article. As a long time fan of roller derby this leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
Troy
Andrew,
I appreciate your comments and candid response. I am but one person, who as you well know from previous ROCK coverage, has talked up this sport – extensively. In the matter of the ROCK vs. ROSI bout (Sat., May 8), I felt that the refs, of which I believe you might be one, did more than any article I could write to deter fans from enjoying the sport. The bout had no chance to ‘entertain’ because of the approach the refs took to calling penalties. Roller derby, as I see it, is supposed to be about the women who work hard, make sacrifices and skate for the love of companionship and camaraderie. Not about how many penalties the refs can squeeze into every jam.