ROCK falls to Black-n-Bluegrass

Squad’s revenge will have to wait

[Editor’s Note: We changed the headline to reflect (1) that ROCK did not play Louisville; and (2) that it did play Black-n-Bluegrass.]

By Troy Lyle

When someone mentions epic sports battles in Kentucky, people immediately think of UK versus UL. But for the more than 400 people who attended this past Saturday’s roller derby bout at Heritage Hall, they can now add the Rollergirls of Central Kentucky (ROCK) versus the Black-n-Bluegrass Roller Girls (BBRG) to the list.

You could tell from the opening warm up skate both ROCK and BBRG meant business. This would be no ordinary derby bout. Skaters from both leagues rounded the track with purpose, eyeing their opponents every move, hoping to garner a glimpse at what the other was planning.

The intensity didn’t let up with the opening whistle as ROCK laid blow after blow trying to stop the speedy skates of BBRG’s jammers Petal to the Metal and Shelter Skelter. But neither Metal nor Skelter would be denied as each made brilliant passes to the inside to land the early lead for BBRG.

ROCK 4, BBRG 20

Sugar Shock answered scoring ROCK’s first grand slam (5 points) behind several huge blasts from Ragdoll Ruby as the refs tried to maintain order between both team’s packs. But BBRG’s strategy was starting to become all too apparent as its pack skated behind ROCK’s wall, slowing play and making it all but impossible for ROCK’s jammers to gain any ground.

ROCK 9, BBRG 30

In any other sport a 20 point lead might sound like a lot but not in the world of roller derby, where a penalty and a few grand slams can score 30 or more points in less than a minute.

Luckily for ROCK just such a situation came in the bout’s next jam when Skelter was sent to the penalty box. That opened the door for Ellie Slay to ride the hips of her blockers Sharon Moonshine and Rainbow Smite, which she did in what can only be described as poetry on wheels, each juke more effortless than the next. When the two minute jam was up Slay had nearly cut BBRG’s lead in half with 11 points of her own.

ROCK 20, BBRG 43

The momentum was short lived for ROCK, who conceded point after point to the deft skates of BBRG jammers Metal and Skelter. In an ultimate sign of frustration ROCK jammer Shock threw her hands into the air for what she felt was a phantom penalty. Her butt time was all BBRG needed to score several grand slams in a row.

ROCK 22, BBRG 59

With only a few jams left in the half Ryder Die used one of the few mistakes BBRG made to her advantage. BBRG blockers Mellcat and QD Poe smashed into each other trying to drive Die from the course. That allowed Die to skate inside and quickly gain lead jammer. Two turns later she had added another 8 points to ROCK’s score.

ROCK 35, BBRG 77

It seemed throughout the entire bout that just about the time ROCK started to angle into BBRG’s lead, BBRG would reel off one of its best skates of the day. Such was the case when Scary Garcia went up against Shock right before the half. Though Shock gained lead jammer, that didn’t stop Garcia from nearly equaling her skate just before the half.

ROCK 42, BBRG 80

Entertainment during intermission was provided by the alt-country act of Fifth on the Floor, whose tear in your beer licks seemed to echo ROCK’s frustration and pain.

Speaking of pain, that’s just what Red Emma inflicted on ROCK’s Bitty Bast’rd early on in the second half. Emma smashed Bast’rd over and over again, knocking her to the floor three times in one jam, as she landed bone crushing block after block. Poor Bast’rd couldn’t make much head way against the vaunted defense of BBRG.

ROCK 46, BBRG 97

Bast’rd wasn’t alone. Many ROCK skaters suffered this night as BBRG landed bruise after bruise. One of the scarier moments of ROCK‘s season occurred when Shock was having her best skate of the night, a skate ended with a thud after QD Poe landed a shoulder. Shock’s body went limp from the blow and she lay on the floor motionless for several seconds, prompting a halt in the action as all the girls and coaches from both teams took a knee in a show of solidarity.

Luckily for Shock she only had the wind knocked out of her and was up and skating again a few minutes later.

ROCK 51, BBRG 100

By far ROCK’s best jam of the bout came on the wheels of Meracle Whip, who despite being new to the sport has come a long way in a few short months. Whip used a nifty inside skate to get lead jammer. From there she turned on the afterburners laying down pass after pass on her way to three grand slams and 19 points.

ROCK 74, BBRG 116

It didn’t take Shock long to be back on the attack as she fearlessly reentered the track and laid down another quick 10 points for ROCK. Shock’s run was answered by Skelter, who’d been resting for several skates and was dying to get back into the action. Skelter skated with authority as her blockers paved the way for her own 14 point jam.

ROCK 90, BBRG 130

Shock then added another quick double digit score just before Sissy Bug was ejected from the bout for incurring too many major penalties. Bug was quickly followed by ROCK captain Slay. Both girls ejections were the result of a hard hitting, hard fought bout in which neither team wanted to lose. But when the final whistle blew ROCK was behind by 54 points.

ROCK 113, BBRG 167

The after party went down as always at Busters off Manchester Street. That night the roller girls shared the space with Boomslang 2010. The evening’s act was Death, a 70s Detroit, proto-punk band made up of three brothers. Their never dying sound and electric atmosphere provided the perfect back drop for the brutal events that occurred earlier that night.

Box Score

ROCK 113

BBRG 167

Saturday September 11 at Heritage Hall in the Lexington Center

ROCK MVP – Sugar Shock

BBRG MVP – Petal to the Metal

ROCK Best Blocker – Ragdoll Ruby

BBRG Best Blocker – Tango N Crash

Up next for ROCK is their last bout of the season. This time the girls will be traveling to Paducah to face the Radioactive City Roller Girls on October 16. Tickets are $12. Bout begins at 8pm. Visit www.rocknrollergirls.com for more information on ROCK or www.radioactiverg.com for info on the Radioactive City Roller Girls.