Disappointing adaptation scores low on Tufnel scale
By Kevin Martinez
Yeah, it’s yet another comic book movie. But, unlike all the other entries this summer, this one is from DC Comics. And it’s not a Batman or Superman movie. Finally, Warner Brothers has decided to dip into the stable of characters that they own and pull out something new.
I’m a big fan of Green Lantern. I have to admit that it comes from being a kid and discovering the Justice League comics. I knew Superman and Batman, but when I found that they teamed up with guys like the Flash, Green Lantern, and Hawkman, suddenly comics became much cooler to my young mind. Green Lantern always looked very elegant—his costume didn’t have a clumsy looking cape. Then you discover that he’s one of many Green Lanterns who are part of an intergalactic police force guided by small blue men in red robes.
Yeah, this is a movie I’ve wanted to see all my life. Unfortunately, when casting began for the movie, they screen tested three actors for this role: Bradley Cooper from The Hangover, the always unimpressive and most hated Justin Timberlake, and the man who ruined Blade Trinity. Yeah, Ryan Reynolds. I was very disappointed that the choices to play Hal Jordan centered around these guys. I had hopes for Firefly star Nathan Fillion, or Farscape star Ben Browder. Instead, they choose the most annoying dude they could find.
To me, Reynolds was the Jar Jar Binks of the Blade series. The first two Blade films were big favorites of mine. The third one turned into a festering pile of crap the minute Reynolds shows up. But, in all fairness, I didn’t expect much out of Heath Ledger when he was cast as the Joker, so I admit I can be wrong. Not that I think that Reynolds could be anywhere near that great in his role, but he may show me something I’m not expecting.
Unfortunately, Reynolds isn’t the problem with this movie. He’s not great, but neither is anything else in the film. This movie is the biggest letdown I’ve had since Ang Lee’s Hulk. I mean, they do get the characters right. And they keep all the familiar elements of the comics. Test pilot Hal Jordan gets his power ring from dying alien Abin Sur, portrayed by Temura Morrison (Jango Fett in Star Wars Episode II). He becomes part of the intergalactic police force known as the Green Lantern Corps. He meets his alien counterparts and they train him. The Guardians Of The Universe are little blue people who give the Green Lanterns their power and their orders. It’s all there, but it doesn’t work.
I don’t know where they found this actress, Blake Lively, who plays Hal Jordan’s love interest, Carol Ferris. But this chick makes Denise Richards’ performance as Dr. Christmas Jones in The World Is Not Enough look like it was an Oscar-winning role by Meryl Streep. I mean, this woman is just plain awful. I bet there are porn actresses who are more convincing and on the mark than this vacant twit.
You would expect better from a film directed by Martin Campbell. He directed Casino Royale and Goldeneye for the James Bond franchise, as well as The Mask Of Zorro, and he usually understands how to tell a story and make you care about the characters. This film is the exact opposite of that.
Peter Sarsgaard’s performance as Hector Hammond is just ridiculous. A villain should be somewhat interesting, instead of a dull and annoying freak. The actor playing Sinestro, Mark Strong, is much better in his role but, unfortunately, this film is a set-up for his character to be the villain in a sequel that will hopefully never get made. You also have Tim Robbins playing Hector Hammond’s father, and it’s astounding how bad he is. He really deserves to be beaten with an air conditioning unit, after having seen this. Angela Bassett is playing Amanda Waller but, if they are planning to go the same route Marvel has gone with Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury, well, they better think again. There is no way we are getting a Justice League movie out of this insipid mess.
This film, in some ways, reminded me of the issues I had a couple of years ago with Watchmen. There, the performances were very flat at times and it made it hard to really relate to the characters. The saving grace of that film, though, was that it was based on the most solid story in comics. The effects also didn’t distract, they enhanced the film. Green Lantern, on the other hand, has really jarring CGI. Nothing really works while this film is earthbound. Special effects should make the viewer think they are actually seeing the impossible as if it were taking place in front of them. Instead, you have scenes where Reynolds’ costume is so obviously not real that I almost felt as if I were watching Pete’s Dragon or Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Yeah—hokey Disney flicks from the 1970s with dated special effects. Which goes to show you that, regardless of how much money you spend, if you can’t make something that’s an improvement, you shouldn’t do it at all.
I will say, in all fairness, that the scenes in space looked great, and so did the planet OA. The alien characters were better than, say, the ones in Avatar. The 3-D actually looks great in this film but, again, only if you can get past the fact that none of it ever really makes you feel like you are seeing something with a true physical form. The depth is what makes the 3-D better than most.
I really wanted to like this movie, but I’d recommend Sucker Punch before I would this one. I love the Green Lantern characters, but this movie ranks up there with Howard The Duck, Red Sonja, Spawn, Catwoman, and Batman and Robin. Sometimes there are the comic book movies that are bad but entertaining—like Swamp Thing. But this isn’t one of those.
In a summer with movies like Thor and X-Men: First Class, you would think that the competition would give Marvel something with which to contend. Instead, DC gives us a frustrating mess and lets down all of their fans—which is something they are doing in their upcoming comics, as well. So far in recent years, DC has only gotten the Batman films right. All other efforts seem to fail. Remember last year’s Jonah Hex? Yeah, I don’t really either since I didn’t bother. My advice to you is to save your money and go to a roller derby bout instead. ROCK vs Chemical Valley is coming the Lexington Convention Center on July 30.
On the Nigel Tufnel scale of 1 to 11, I’m giving this one a very generous 2, only because it does get so much right with the characters, but gets everything else so wrong.
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