My first roller derby

ROCK bests Vette City on last minute jam

By Sunny Montgomery

Editor’s note: NoC goes through ROCK writers like Spinal Tap goes through drummers. Here’s our newest ROCK beat reporter, Sunny Montgomery, of Sisters Provocateur fame.

I sat alone on the far side of the arena. Attendees were beginning to trickle in although it was still a little before six. Rollergirls from both teams were getting ready, stretching their legs and inspecting their wheels.   M.I.A. played over the loudspeaker.  Some of the girls were already skating around the rink – or rather, the track as I learned it was called.

I tried to look natural but I was feeling rather self-conscious. I wiggled around in my seat and worried I was sweating too much after my very hot bike ride to Lexington Convention Center.  I tried to display my Staff pass prominently across my legs as evidence I belonged.

I did belong here, I reminded myself.  When I agreed to start covering the Rollergirls of Central Kentucky (ROCK) for NoC, I knew I had much to learn.  I had never attended a game – I mean, a meet, or you know, a match-thingy?  Turns out they are called bouts and on Saturday, June 4 , I attended my very first ROCK bout against the Vette City Vixens from Bowling Green.

The official ROCK warm-up began at 6:15 and was followed by a bit of audience warm-up. The girls had all sorts of ways to arouse the crowd including birthday spankings for ROCK’s MVP blocker, Sharon Moonshine, free t-shirts to whomever could scream the loudest, and finally a guest appearance by Jim Gray, who introduced ROCK. Warm-ups finished, the girls took their places on the track.  The bout was about to begin.

This is what I knew:  There are 14 players on each team with 5 players from each on the track at one time. The Pivots, wearing striped helmets, lead the pack. They set the pace for the pack behind them. The Blockers are behind the Pivots. Their job is to block the opposing team’s Jammer.  The Jammers, wearing stars on their helmets, begin 20 feet behind the pack. They score points for each opposing Blocker they can maneuver past.  The first Jammer through the pack becomes the lead Jammer.  But perhaps I was getting ahead of myself.  I opened my journal to a fresh page.

“Five seconds!”  the Jam timer hollered from the center of the track then gave a short whistle.  The Pivots began to move.  The Blockers followed. The Jam timer gave two more short whistles and the Jammers were off.  It was on.  The crowd started to cheer.  Bodies were down.  Girls were flying into the penalty box.  I didn’t know where to look.  I scribbled notes as quickly as I could.    A referee pointed to ROCK’s Jammer and the crowd hollered louder.  I had no idea what was happening.  I glanced at the scoreboard.  The Vette City Vixens were up three points.

Ragdoll Ruby passes Vette City jammer.

The rest of the first half whirred past. I couldn’t keep up with the scoring or the reasons that penalties were called and at some point, I quit trying. I was fascinated by the actual aggressiveness of the sport. Somehow, it was much more intense than I’d imagined. There were rules, of course: no punching, choking, biting, etc. However the girls could use all their weight to shoulder slam opposing players. I watched one girl take her teammate tightly by the bicep then thrust her emphatically into the opposing Jammer. This technique, I learned, was called the “bullet and the gun.” Girls were skidding on their elbows and their asses across the concrete floor and springing back upright as quickly as they’d been down. These were not just tatted up tough girls in tight clothing, I realized. These were skilled athletes. I was sweating again.

At 8 o’clock, halftime was called and March Madness Marching Band spilled onto the track with their horns and drums and eccentric dress.

“Why don’t we have people like that in Bowling Green?”  I heard one of the Vette City Vixen’s say to her teammate. I held my head higher as I strode across the arena and out the double doors for a quick breath of fresh air.

As the second half got underway, I started getting nervous again but this time it had nothing to do with my usual self-consciousness. I sat on the edge of my seat with my fists balled tightly at my side. My eyes darted from the pack to the scoreboard. The Vixens’ had the lead again. I stopped making notes altogether so that I could start focusing on tripping the Vette City Vixens with my mind.

The clock was running out. With the Vixens’ Jammer in the penalty box, a new jam began. The strategy would have to be explained to me later, of course, but the drama was evident. The audience was on its feet with fists in the air. Rollergirls from both teams were jumping up and down on the sidelines, cheering and cursing.

ROCK’s Jammer fought her way through the pack, first, to become lead Jammer. Second, to win a grand slam – which (I remembered from the Youtube tutorial I’d watched pregame) was when one Jammer lapped the other. On her third trip around the track, Vette City Vixen’s Jammer was released from the penalty box but it was too late. ROCK had won the bout in the final two minutes: 110 to 106. The final ten points were scored by ROCK’s MVP Jammer, Ragdoll Ruby, who also happened to be married to ROCK’s coach, Ragman. Yes, this is a love story, my friends. I cannot wait for my next ROCK experience.

Join us! July 2 at Lexington Convention Center. Doors open at 6. Bout begins at 7.