Hints at return trip to Frankfort
East Siberian Arctic Shelf (Tuesday, December 11, 2012)—Santa Claus today reminded reporters during daily holiday press briefings that he had yet to hear from Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear regarding last year’s holiday demand to support three specific Christmas-saving initiatives:
- To end surface mining in Kentucky, immediately.
- To employ every surface mine worker in jobs that reclaim the land and waterways already damaged by coal operations.
- To work to help Appalachians build healthy communities and a just, diverse, and sustainable economy.
When Father Christmas arrived last year to speak with Beshear, the Kentucky governor happened to be out on “official business.” Always the jolly pranksters, Santa and his elves went ahead with their plan to deliver coal and switches to Beshear and other legislators for a variety of Christmas-killing decisions they had made over the previous 12 months. This year, Claus expects a face-to-face meeting with Beshear.
“Ho ho ho. Maybe what I need to do is have my communications elf schedule a visit through his chief of staff to ensure he’s at the office. I’d love to sit little Stevie down on my lap and just talk. He was such a good kid when he was little.”
Claus stated that his people are working on hammering down a date when he and his entourage can arrive in Frankfort.
“Whenever it is, we’ll be sure to get the word out quick so all those good Kentucky elves can come join me and my caroling delegation at the capital building.”