Benton sweeps first night of league play
Under the distant gaze of two fans drinking at Sidebar, Michael Benton rolled his way to a pair of victories on the soggy grounds of Courthouse Fields for opening night of the Lexington Guerilla Bocce League (LGBL). In the night’s first match, Benton and League non-commissioner Danny Mayer rolled a closely fought match. The two players traded leads until Mayer surged ahead 10-8 with a late-match perfect botch. At the ensuing rolling of the jack, Benton responded with a perfect botch of his own to pull off an improbable, thrilling, come-from-behind 11-10 victory.
Roll-time for this first match was unexpectedly delayed thirty minutes to 10:30 P.M. while players gathered at Occupy Lexington’s JP Morgan Chase Plaza. League non-commissioner Danny Mayer’s late arrival prompted one LGBL roller to write a pointed letter directed to league non-officials:
“Where is non-commisioner Mayer? After tonight’s uncontested forfeiture of our first LGBL match, I can only surmise he is a Bocce Wuss. He must have heard about my gigantic Bocce balls and decided to keep his wrapped up in their tiny rucksack to avoid the painful humiliation I was prepared to rain down upon him. I hereby challenge “Little balls” Mayer to a guerilla boccee match to be held at a mutually agreed upon time and place. The gauntlet is cast, does “Little balls” Mayer answer the challenge?
As it turns out, Mayer did show (albeit late), and Charles “Big Balls” Bowsher, named for his controversial use of bowling balls in league play, was able to meet his adversary in the night’s second match, a three-way between Bowsher, Mayer and Benton. The Bowsher/Mayer rivalry quickly fizzled, however, as Benton rolled his way to an easy 10-2-2 victory.
The LGBL rolls on Monday nights at 10:00 P.M. Players gather at Occupy Lexington before striking out for playing greens located throughout the city.