Picks for the 2010 Academy Awards
By A.G. Greebs
Oscar time. Arguably the best reason to get drunk on a Sunday night since the Super Bowl, last month. The Oscars, coming up on Sunday, March 7, might even be better, because while there is always some nut job at a Super Bowl party who likes watching football, studies show there are only 4 or 5 people on the planet who care what Sandra Bullock says, and chances are slim you’ll be spending Oscar night with one of them—which frees up a lot of attention for boozing.
At an Oscar party (and really, you should have an Oscar party, even if it’s just you in a bathrobe with a bottle of Andre), there are usually two different types of people. There’s the person who considers themselves an expert on movies, who’s seen most of the nominees, and knows the difference between a sound mixer and a sound editor. This person usually gets very emotionally involved in the results, and spends a lot of evening yelling at the television and sobbing. You don’t want to be this person.
On the other hand, you probably don’t want to be the person who thinks Up is going to win for best picture either. A good balance between being the nerd who wins the Oscar pool and has to take home the cheap plastic trophy from the Liquor Barn and being someone who lives in a box and communicates through Morse code in a cave is probably the best option.
The easiest way of striking that balance is to look up the Academy Awards on the sports betting pages, and do whatever they recommend. In fact, to make it easier, we’ve done it for you. I’ve also included my own predictions, because the only point of an Oscar pool is pointless self-gratification (and because I’ve been known to yell at my television a time or two).
Best Actor in a Leading role
Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart
George Clooney in Up in the Air
Colin Firth in A Single Man
Morgan Freeman in Invictus
Jeremy Renner in The Hurt Locker
Bookie says: Jeff Bridges
I say: Jeff Bridges
This is so far in the bag, he’s probably going to win twice. Too bad no one saw this.
Best Actor in a Supporting Role
Matt Damon in Invictus
Woody Harrelson in The Messenger
Christopher Plummer in The Last Station
Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds
Bookie says: Christoph Walz
I say: Chistoph Walz
Too bad, because I love me some Stanley Tucci, but very few people win awards for playing pedophiles. It’s the anti-classic autistic-musician-holocaust-survivor role, perhaps too much for the Academy.
Best Actress in a Leading Role
Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side
Helen Mirren in The Last Station
Carey Mulligan in An Education
Gabourey Sidibe in Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
Meryl Streep in Julie & Julia
Bookie Says: Sandra Bullock
I say: Meryl Streep
This is a vile choice. On the one hand, there is no doubt that Meryl Streep’s “Oh me? You shouldn’t have!” shtick has gotten really old this season. On the other hand, the idea of Sandra Bullock winning any sort of award, much less for acting, much less for playing a prissy, entitled, white, Christian fundamentalist who discovers black kids are people too because they can play football, is so repugnant that even my deep, abiding cynicism about the Oscars boggles. If Sandra Bullock wins, we should probably stop making movies, because clearly dreams are dead.
Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Penélope Cruz in Nine
Vera Farmiga in Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal in Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick in Up in the Air
Mo’Nique in Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
Bookie Says: Mo’Nique
I say: Mo’Nique
The Academy needs to give Precious a win to avoid upsetting the god-like power of Oprah and Tyler Perry combined.
Animated Feature
Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of Kells
Up
Bookie says: Up
I say: Up
Yes, Up will probably get it, but Christ that was a really, really, really, depressing movie.
Art Direction
Avatar
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Nine
Sherlock Holmes
The Young Victoria
Bookie says: Avatar
I say: Avatar
Because this team helped us to see 8-foot tall blue cat people in a way that 8-foot tall blue cat people had never been seen before, blah, blah, blah…
Cinematography
Avatar
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
The White Ribbon
Bookie says: The Hurt Locker
I say: Avatar
At the end of the day, Avatar is going to win 4 or 5 Oscars. Rather than getting all clever, it seems easiest to put it down for everything, regardless of whether or not it was nominated. To misquote Keynes, it’s better to be approximately right than precisely wrong.
Costume Design
Bright Star: Janet Patterson
Coco before Chanel: Catherine Leterrier
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus: Monique Prudhomme
Nine: Colleen Atwood
The Young Victoria: Sandy Powell
Bookie says: The Young Victoria
I say: The one that has the largest dresses. That’s probably The Young Victoria, yeah? Anyway, about half these people have already won two Oscars, and all the rest have been nominated a million times each, so it’s not like this is a battle of the underdogs.
Directing
Avatar: James Cameron
The Hurt Locker: Kathryn Bigelow
Inglourious Basterds: Quentin Tarantino
Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire: Lee Daniels
Up in the Air: Jason Reitman
Bookie says: The Hurt Locker
I say: Avatar
People have been making a really big deal out of the fact that James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow were married for about 15 minutes in the late 80s—despite the fact that Cameron has had approximately 34 other wives since then. The two are also frequent collaborators, but to read the press you’d think that this was some sort of War of the Roses scenario, where Bigelow—the woman scorned—is going to get an Oscar as a consolation prize.
On the other hand, James Cameron spent a record amount of money to make a movie with a ridiculous premise that finished over-budget, and really, really late—one which everyone in the world said would be a monumental flop and quite possibly the worst movie of all time, but which ended up being the highest grossing movie ever made. And then last year, he did it again. I’m just saying…
Documentary Feature
Burma VJ: Anders Østergaard and Lise Lense-Møller
The Cove: Louie Psihoyos and Fisher Stevens
Food, Inc.: Robert Kenner and Elise Pearlstein
The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers: Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith
Which Way Home: Rebecca Cammisa
Bookie says: The Cove, by a long shot. Betting $10 on this will lose you money even if you win.
I say: The Cove, because it’s the only one anyone’s heard of.
Documentary Short Subject
China’s Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province: Jon Alpert and Matthew O’Neill
The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner: Daniel Junge and Henry Ansbacher
The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant: Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert
Music by Prudence: Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett
Rabbit à la Berlin: Bartek Konopka and Anna Wydra
Bookie says: China’s Unnatural Disaster
I say: Sure, why not?
Film Editing
Avatar: Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua and James Cameron
District 9: Julian Clarke
The Hurt Locker: Bob Murawski and Chris Innis
Inglourious Basterds: Sally Menke
Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire: Joe Klotz
Bookie says: Avatar
I say: Avatar
Foreign Language Film
Ajami (Israel)
The Milk of Sorrow (La Teta Asustada) (Peru)
A Prophet (Un Prophète) (France)
The Secret in Their Eyes (El Secreto de Sus Ojos) (Argentina)
The White Ribbon (Das Weisse Band) (Germany)
Bookie says: The White Ribbon
I say: Avatar
Makeup
Il Divo: Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano
Star Trek: Barney Burman, Mindy Hall and Joel Harlow
The Young Victoria: Jon Henry Gordon and Jenny Shircore
Bookie says: Star Trek (natch).
I say: District 9 didn’t even get nominated? That’s just cold.
Original Score
Avatar: James Horner
Fantastic Mr. Fox: Alexandre Desplat
The Hurt Locker: Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders
Sherlock Holmes: Hans Zimmer
Up: Michael Giacchino
Bookie says: Avatar
I say: Avatar
Original Song
“Almost There” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“Down in New Orleans” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“Loin de Paname” from “Paris 36” Music by Reinhardt Wagner Lyric by Frank Thomas
“Take It All” from “Nine” Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston
“The Weary Kind” (Theme from Crazy Heart) from “Crazy Heart” Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett
Bookie says: “The Weary Kind”
I say: Anything not from The Princess and the Frog
Short Film Animated
French Roast: Fabrice O. Joubert
Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty: Nicky Phelan and Darragh O’Connell
The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte): Javier Recio Gracia
Logorama: Nicolas Schmerkin
A Matter of Loaf and Death: Nick Park
Bookie says: A Matter of Loaf and Death
I say: Check out www.buzzsugar.com to watch these all on the same page. God the internets are awesome.
Short Film Live Action
The Door: Juanita Wilson and James Flynn
Instead of Abracadabra: Patrik Eklund and Mathias Fjellström
Kavi: Gregg Helvey
Miracle Fish: Luke Doolan and Drew Bailey
The New Tenants: Joachim Back and Tivi Magnusson
Bookie says: Instead of Abracadabra
I say: I think the bookies are just picking the coolest title. Buzzsugar also has these up, so you can decide for yourself if you feel like being really hardcore.
Sound Editing
Avatar: Christopher Boyes and Gwendolyn Yates Whittle
The Hurt Locker: Paul N.J. Ottosson
Inglourious Basterds: Wylie Stateman
Star Trek: Mark Stoeckinger and Alan Rankin
Up: Michael Silvers and Tom Myers
Bookie says: Avatar
I say: Avatar, although God knows, if there is one category Avatar deserves to lose in, it’s this one. A $300 million dollar budget and they couldn’t be bothered to re-dub all the times Sam Worthington reverted to an Australian accent? Really?
Sound Mixing
Avatar: Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson and Tony Johnson
The Hurt Locker: Paul N.J. Ottosson and Ray Beckett
Inglourious Basterds: Michael Minkler, Tony Lamberti and Mark Ulano
Star Trek: Anna Behlmer, Andy Nelson and Peter J. Devlin
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers and Geoffrey Patterson
Bookie says: Avatar
I say: Avatar
Visual Effects
Avatar: Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R. Jones
District 9: Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros and Matt Aitken
Star Trek: Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh and Burt Dalton
Bookie says: Avatar
I say: Star Trek! Just kidding.
Adapted Screenplay
- District 9: Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
An Education: Screenplay by Nick Hornby
In the Loop: Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire: Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
Up in the Air: Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner
Bookie says: Up in the Air
I say: Up in the Air
Original Screenplay
The Hurt Locker: Written by Mark Boal
Inglourious Basterds: Written by Quentin Tarantino
The Messenger: Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
A Serious Man: Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Up: Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy
Bookie says: Inglourious Basterds
I say: Inglourious Basterds. Because what could possibly be more edgy and creative than misspelling your own title?
Best Picture
Avatar: James Cameron and Jon Landau, Producers
The Blind Side: Gil Netter, Andrew A. Kosove and Broderick Johnson, Producers
District 9: Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham, Producers
An Education: Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey, Producers
The Hurt Locker: Kathryn Bigelow, Mark Boal, Nicolas Chartier and Greg Shapiro, Producers
Inglourious Basterds: Lawrence Bender, Producer
Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire: Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness, Producers
A Serious Man: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Producers
Up: Jonas Rivera, Producer
Up in the Air: Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman, Producers
Bookie says: Avatar, though The Hurt Locker is very close behind it.
I say: The entire reason the Academy adopted this ridiculous new “everything gets nominated” policy was so that it could attract the interest of people who would never voluntarily see films like A Serious Man. They aren’t going to undue all their hard-earned irrelevance by snubbing a movie that’s been seen by as many people as watch the World Cup.
Scratch that. They totally would.
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